25th October 1960 – 14th January 2019
Carol and I were together for 26 years. She was sexy, clever and witty. Direct, emotionally intelligent, obsessive and flawed. Passionate and pedantic. Loving and kind. Brilliant and brave, though she would argue that.
I don’t really know how this page will take shape as yet, maybe it’s here as a notebook for me to create in the way I know best. For now, here are some of the immediate reflections about Carol.
Fundraiser for the National Kidney Federation, charity dedicated to working for patients and carers.
Carol and I made some videos when she started on home haemodialysis. She did home haemo for 5 years.
Just a month before she died, Carol made a note to herself: “The magic you’ve always believed in, will show you a road.”
A Ghostly Company tribute to Carol
Carol was a member of A Ghostly Company, a society for devotees of the ghost story. She was held in high regard. Here’s what one of their members wrote about Carol:
We will all miss Carol Bibby, who was a wonderful Companion in all senses, with acerbic wit, great kindness and a deep devotion to the works of M.R. James (and an additional passion for James McBryde). She was instrumental in keeping A Ghostly Company going when it was threatened with dissolution after the resignation of Clive Ward as
Chairman, her diplomatic skills tested to the utmost. Mike Calvert
attended her memorial in Todmorden.
Carol Bibby (Mike Calvert)
I attended a memorial service on 28 January for our Companion Carol
Bibby, who many of you will know and have met. The memorial was a
very dignified celebration of Carol’s life, with eulogies being
delivered by her best friend Dave Blyth and Carol’s husband Jak
The music played were pieces of Carol’s favourites from a
very eclectic collection. The memorial opened with Purcell’s
Dido and Aeneas Act 1 and ended with Out in the Street by Bruce
Springsteen. I remember having a good conversation with Carol about
music when we were driving, I forget where. I probably didn’t
gain any Brownie Points by saying that I could take him or leave him. My collection of Springsteen was limited to a copy of his Greatest Hits CD. This to Carol who must be up there as one of his number one fans.
Dave told us of Carol’s success at gaining a place at Grammar School, no mean feat for a girl in those days, where she achieved 4 A levels. This took her to Emmanuel College Cambridge, again a major
achievement. She graduated from here with a degree in History, adding a MA in Sociology from the University of Hull later. All in all, Carol was a very intelligent and accomplished woman. It probably goes without saying that she owned a ‘vast’ collection of ghost stories. Her love for and membership of A Ghostly Company was shared during the eulogies.
Carol was one of the long-standing members of A Ghostly Company. She attended most of our events, only falling off due to her deteriorating health. It was on my first Black Pilgrimage that I met her. I was also to find out that her memory of Latin far outstretched my meagre memories of devotional Latin. I found that she also read and spoke Greek.
Her husband, Jak, told the unfortunate story of the time they were victims of gay bashing; Carol was particularly badly hurt. Being Carol, this did not keep her down.
Unfortunately, her deteriorating health took up more and more of her time. She was subject to dialysis treatment for some time, finally succumbing to a brain aneurysm.